September 18, 2024

Sean 'Puff Daddy, Diddy' Combs

Give a man a little money and he may be grateful and contrite. Give a man a LOT of money and he may become spiteful and Trump-like. Is it a sad turn of events that Sean 'Puff Daddy' Combs has finally been arrested and jailed after literally years of criminal investigation? Not really. For some people a lot is just not enough and as happens so often with the rich and famous... ego controls it all. Apparently that degree of ego didn't include brains enough to know when to take the loot and skip town. I can't believe Combs thought that he was powerful enough to get away with years of the heinous self indulgences that he now stands accused of. And on the other hand, I can believe it. As he sits behind bars awaiting trial we shall watch as his 'vultures' clean out his diddy bank.

August 19, 2024

Schmuck George Santos

So who didn't see this coming although it took long enough? The degree to which BS dripped from George Santos' lips is staggering to the mind. Having graduated from the Trump school of Say Anything You Damn Well Please, Santos has apparently buckled under the threat of 20+ years in prison and admitted some of his guilt. Looks like we will have to wait 5-6 months before sentencing. Perhaps Judge Joanna Seybert wants to wait to see if Santos really pays back the money he stole, to the tune of around $350,000. Naw... we'll see the bankruptcy routine, or some offshore money finagling OR maybe Santos will give all his money to Donald Trump. His sentencing should include 1000 hours of community service doing something he will very much dislike and full restitution to those whose trust he betrayed.

February

Donald J Trump Wins Again

Poor former president Donald Trump, Mr Big shot billionaire, says he can't afford to pay the $454 million dollar judgment against him without selling some of his property and is desperately trying to negotiate a $100 million bond instead. Perhaps the courts should come up with other options for Mr Trump. Like he could work at Mike Lindell's pillow factory, at $20/hour average wage and he could work off the $454 million fine in only 1.5 million 8 hour shifts. And if he worked side by side with Mike Lindell on the factory floor... Mike's $5+ million dollar judgment could be taken care of in only 3200 8 hour shift. Sounds like a good deal to me. That way Trump's sons, Eric and Don Jr could stay in the center seats of the Trump empire and there might be enough left over to keep Melania in botox and Chanel and wee Baron in depends. At least until the next judgment against him is rendered.
Watch Trump brag about his wealth and tell his adoring fans that he needs them to step up and help with groceries and gas money.

January Ménage à Trois

Couldn't Pick Just One

Benjamin "Bibi" Netanyoohu for his careless destruction of the Gaza strip and its people,  for his refusal to recognize a sovereign Palestinian State and for suckering us in to support his prestigious lies.

Guber Greg Abbott, Texass for suggesting that the only reason Texans don't shoot immigrants crossing his boarder illegally is because Biden would charge them with murder and for sending South American immigrants to Chicago with little more than a bus ticket just to snub Joe Biden. Someone flatten his tires!

Florida State Senator Ileana Garcia for introducing a bill to get Florida taxpayers to cough up $5 mil tax dollars to pay Trump legal expenses (retracted after DeSantis threatened to veto it)... and for saying that pregnant sex-trafficed women should be forced to carry their babies to term to affect early release from servitude.

December

Rudy Giuliani's Mouth

It was a tough choice for this month as there are so many buttheads just waiting to make this page.
Thanks to Trump and his legions of liars Giuliani was emboldened to stick his neck out... without which he could have never gotten his foot so far in his mouth. No doubt Rudy has a strategy for appeals and skanky tactics to keep from paying for his defamations... much like Alex Jones who still hasn't paid his Sandy Hook judgment. Sadly the courts don't seem to prioritize enforcing their judgments which Rudy is no doubt counting on. Maybe Trump will give Rudy the money he needs and Republicans... will vote for Joe Biden.

November

George Santos
Bullshit Artist Supreme George (I did nothing wrong) Santos, who was our butthead of the month for December last year, has remained in congress, largely ineffectual except for his relatively conformist vote, continues to deny he will ever get the boot. With the number of felony charges against him and a very right wing House majority breathing down his back, he doesn't stand a chance. His vote for the majority is the only thing keeping him in place and that can only last until December 1. You'd think he was a Democrat with the way he spends other people's money and defends his right to have a life as a drag queen if he so chooses. We can only hope that his NY Dist 3 constituents will choose his successor more carefully... how embarrassing.

April

Tucker Carlson - Ex Fox News Host

Fox News, and likely at the request of Rupert Murdoch, has handed Tucker Carlson his walking papers after seven years of his controversial conservative opinions, far right conspiracies and arrogant posturing. All the things that Fox News apparently cherishes, until they get caught. No doubt the $787.5 million settlement Fox agreed to pay to Dominion prompted his departure. Twice as vile and arrogant as his predecessor, Bill O'Reilly, Carlson is akin to Marjorie Taylor Green in his fearless defaming with disinformation. Arrogant to the end, Carlson signed off his last show on Friday saying he will be back in Monday. We hope he will take our advise and take over as Marjorie Taylor Green's campaign manager. No doubt Tucker Carlson will end up with his own Alex Jones style pod cast dis-service if he can find producers who have a lot of money to piss away. He should be smart enough not to invest his own dollars... but then the big man has been cut down to size so all bets are off. Tucker Carlson for President... I bet he's doodled that 842,911 times.

March

Congressperson Lauren Boebert

Rep. Lauren Boebert - right wing moralist hypocrite who preaches christian values and then spits on them. This Colorado right wing extremist 'lawmaker' dropped out of high school after getting knocked-up and apparently her proudest moment is when her 17 year old son Tyler fathered the third generation of children born out of wedlock. Soon to be a 36 year old grandmother, just like her mother, Boebert attributes what some would say are loose morals to a 'hereditary condition.' This representative of Colorado seems to always be angry. An anti-abortion mouth-piece, Boebert rejects any attempt to strengthen or even introduce comprehensive sex education in schools. Boebert does not support the constitutional first amendment suggesting the separation of church and state, but as an aggressive guns rights activist she hasn't gone as far as to say that were Jesus walking the earth today, he would be toting an assault rifle. Her behavior in congress would also suggest Mrs. Boebert has a public pee fetish.
BTW - this is not the same person who cut off her husband's penis back in 93... that was Lorena Bobbitt.

February

Denali Brehmer - Murder for Millions of Nothing

Now here may be the second stupidest person in town along with her 2 co-murders who rank 3rd, 4th. Denali was duped (catfished) into committing the cold blooded murder of her friend by some guy online who promised her $9 million if she sent him pictures and video proof of the dirty deed. Well she did and in return she got nothing but a pending 30-99 year prison sentence. Apparently in Alaska "if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is" isn't taught everywhere. Well they caught the online perp, from Indiana, who will hopefully get about the same number of years in prison.

January

Congressman Matt Gaetz, Florida

Representing the Florida Panhandle, MAGA Republican Matt Gaetz wins the January spot for his presumptuous rail against Kevin McCarthy for Speaker of the House... until such time as he had personally gotten everything he get could from McCarthy in bargaining... and then he voted for him. That kind of bargaining is also called extortion. Having called McCarthy just about every name in the political book Gaetz caved just before the 17th vote for Speaker. While it appears that the 2021 hub-bub about Matt Gaetz being involved in a sex trafficking scheme is not going to get DOJ prosecution, Gaetz was clever to ask then President Trump to issue a blanket pardon (which Gaetz denies)... just in case. To top that, Gaetz and his MAGA buddy Marjorie Taylor Green took the position of mouthpiece for the GOP in response to the January 6 insurrection suggesting it was the Federal government that lured Trump loyalists to storm the capital... not Trump. The people of Florida are indeed getting what they deserve.

Congratulations Kari Lake... Arizona's favorite local news anchor who ran for the state's center seat and couldn't win legally and couldn't lose graciously. Lake, a Trump endorsed candidate, employed the Trump campaign paradigm of personal attacks and invectives along with Trump's conspiracy theories of campaign fraud and mismanagement that many of the other Republican losers did. Even after the election results were certified, Lake could not resign herself to having lost and filed law suits decrying election fraud. Her law suits were dismissed as having insufficient evidence. Lake has been ordered to pay $33K for associated court costs, which she won't pay until they drag her from her home kicking and screaming. Now had Marjorie Taylor Greene been in charge of Kari Lake's campaign... she would have won by a landslide... wink, wink.

Runner Up Alex Jones the now infamous conspiracy theorist who has been fined hundreds of millions of dollars for emphatically denying the Sandy Hook massacre and defaming the parents of victims has moved to hide all his assets and declared bankruptcy for himself and the many companies he controls. Claiming that he owes a hundred times more than he owns, Jones, like so many rich people, will likely pay little in compensation to the many people he has hurt by his lies and deceit. If Jones was smart... he would run for public office. He would fit right in.

December, 2022

Just a Little LIE Here and There

Here we go again. There must be at least nine adjectives to describe the folks of New York's 3rd Congressional District who just elected George Santos to represent them. Santos may have lied about his job history, his college credentials and his ethnic background but he will admit that he graduated from the Trump school of saying whatever you want. Embellishing your resume is one thing but Santos took this to a Trumpian level and then had the nerve to blame the elitist expectations of the New York Times for goating him to be more than he really is. Santos claims to be the first openly gay New York Republican Congressman elect. Gay Republican may be an oxymoron in many social circles... but in Santos' case you can effectively drop the 'oxy' part of that moniker. Santos is being pressured to resign from numerous fronts befor he is even sworn in but the GOP is officially staying silent and at this time s/he/it is will not resign claiming that his lies may be wrong but not criminal.

November, 2022

Madison Cawthorn Demonstrates Experienced Oral Technique

Soon to be Ex-Congressman Madison Cawthorn (Rep-NC) did not get the sympathy vote this time and is now preparing to pack up his outrageous right wing bull shit and head for home. Often referred to as a third rate Grandstander, this homophobe and most excellent conspiracy theorist had to have a few last words to solidify his short tenure in the House of Representatives. As if sitting by and cheering on the Jan 6 Capitol rioters wasn't enough, his latest appeal is to the young men of America asking them to man-up and denounce the 'metro-sexual' mentality and reclaim their masculinity.... butch it up before America collapses under the weight of pacifism. Congress may never be the same... and we are counting on it.

October, 2022

What Some Won't Do To Be Governor

Kari Lake, Guber hopeful from Arizona, land of a million heat stroke victims, has embraced Donald Trump and all his falderal to secure Trump's Gold Star endorsement. How else can a former Phoenix TV news anchor with no political experience hope to take on Arizona's center seat. And while she may have never held political office, Kari Lake has certainly learned how to walk and talk like a politician. In true Trump form Kari can answer any question with vague rhetoric and skilled diversion. Still content to propagate Trump's false election claims and other conspiracy theories including  the absurd notion that Democrats want to defund the police, Lake is somehow convincing Arizonans that because they trusted her when she was a TV news anchor... they can trust her as governor.
As I have said before, if the people of Arizona want her for governor then that's what they should get. While early polling suggests that Lake will prevail it will be interesting to see how she embraces the legitimacy of Arizona's mid-term vote.

September, 2022

Capital Rioter Does Schultz Schtick

Anton Lunyk, 26, of Midwood, Brooklyn, admitted to being a January 6th Capital rioter, but when confronted with the allegation that his cell phone received a call from the White House that afternoon, Lunyk did his best Sgt. Schultz... 'I know nothing... Nothing.' In true Trump fashion, Lunyk denied everything and claimed that it is all a witch hunt. Sentenced by a weak judge to probation, 2 months of home confinement, 60 hours of community service and a light fine for his part in the riot. What kind of punishment is staying home for 2 months with nothing to do but drink beer and plot his next MAGA adventure with his friends. Maybe the Republicans are right when they say we are collectively too weak on crime. Bite your tongue.

August, 2022

A Solid Trumper... Sean Whalen

CEO of Lions Den - Podcaster - founder and mouthpiece for 'Lions not Sheep' Sean Whalen showed his true Trump colors when his clothing line was fined by the Federal Trade Commission for fraudulently advertising made in the USA and getting caught putting Made in USA labels in clothes made in China and elsewhere. In true Trump style Whalen immediately responded that the FTC judgment was the result of a political witch hunt. In a video posted on Facebook Whalen describes how every right wing, Trump loving, gun totting, patriotic American in 99.9% of other apparel companies does the same thing... 'how do you think you can buy a $20 tee shirt and I can make money?' 

Apparently, in some conservative circles following the rules makes you a sheep not a lion. But don't get cocky... the same is true in some liberal and progressive circles too!

July, 2022

MTG Doesn't need a gun to shoot off her mouth ... but try it once.

Georgians must be very proud of their Congressional Rep Marjorie Taylor Greene who says that the elementary school students killed during the mass shooting in Uvalde, Texas, earlier this year could have "defended themselves" had they been armed with assault weapons for children. Greene, who represents Georgia's 14th Congressional District, said that the Robb Elementary School victims "needed" to be armed with JR-15s, a small semi-automatic rifle modeled on the AR-15 with a marketing campaign targeting children.
The JR-15 is 31 inches long, weighs about 2.5 pounds and comes with small magazines (5-10) of 22 caliber bullets. It would require a bit longer back pack than most have but the back pack could also be made bullet proof. Sound Republican thinking in action MTG.

June, 2022

Mary, Mary Quite Contrary

With today's political speech and the dense protections around it it's hard to hold anyone accountable for their remarks because a simple "I misspoke" gets you off the hook for just about anything it seems. Such is the case for Trumpophile Mary Miller, U.S. Rep from Illinois. At a recent Trump rally Miller said that the Supreme Court decision overturning Roe v. Wade "was a victory for white life". Was Mary Miller giving a clear signal at Trump's behest or was it just a matter of clumsy tongue as her campaign claims? In the MAGA camp you just never know. She is a pro-life advocate who aligns with a white supremacist ego-maniac, joined in his denial of the election, has extolled her admiration for Hitler and apparently believes that her corrected and post apologetic word... is her bond.

May, 2022

Coward - Incompetent, or Politician

Uvalde Texas, following the horrific elementary school shooting, is the center of world attention as people try to decide if Uvalde school district police chief Pedro Arredondo failed in his actions because he was a coward, or just incompetent. Assuming the position of command for the police response to the school shooting was certainly no cake walk but it appears that Arredondo's decision making process was fatally flawed and not equal to the task. It may be weeks or months before the event timeline is correctly identified. But it is now time for the people of Uvalde to look more closely at the man they just elected to the Uvalde City Counsel and whether he possesses the leadership skills befitting that position.

April, 2022

Seagal and Putin in a Bloody Tree

One time American actor and ordained Russian Citizen Steven Seagal expressed his love for Vladimir Putin and his elite allies at a party in Moscow on the occasion of Seagal's 70th birthday. Eloquently stated in his remarks to the party crowd Seagal remarked ..."each and everyone one of you, you are my family and my friends. And I love all of you and we stand together, through thick and through thin." Seagal believes the West is seriously ignorant of the truth... Putin only wants what's best for Ukraine and Russia and that justifies his invasion and directed atrocities. Seagal believes it will all end as it should and Ukraine and Russia will be all the stronger for it... like his acting career after the 2006 flop "Attack Force."

March, 2022

Second Timer - Ted Cruz

Super right wing Texas Senator and member of the Senate Judiciary Committee, Ted Cruz once again shows us the way. Again in the national spotlight Cruz spent a good part of his opportunity to question Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson insisting that she answer the question... "Are babies racist?" while flailing the book 'Antiracist Babies' by author Ibram X. Kendi. The people of Texas must be so proud of their champion in the Senate. Mr. Cruz spent the better part of his time grandstanding to his hopeful presidential base. And after all his lip service the best he could do was to accuse Ketanji Brown Jackson of being soft on the crime of child pornography and for being a champion of critical race theory... which I doubt Cruz even understands. The good people of Texas should have what they want and they do indeed with Senator Ted Cruz.

February, 2022

Hail Putin... Heil

It has to be more than selfish egomania that drives Vladimir Putin to invade and destroy his sovereign neighbor Ukraine. Perhaps, deep down inside, Putin is really afraid of having NATO states on his doorstep thinking that they will do to him what he is doing to Ukraine. More likely he suffers from a more eastern version of the Hitler complex and wants everyone to be white Russians, or dead. Sadly, to achieve his goals, he will let his own people of Russia suffer and die for his idyllic world order. Coincidence that his 'Z' war symbol is half a swastika? Me thinks not. There is no end to what can feed the ego... and one as insecure as Putin's must be very, very hungry.

January, 2022

Hana Horka - "I Did it My Way"

Well known Czech Republic folk singer, 57 year old Hana Horka died from COVID-19 after deliberately contracting the virus in order to get a health pass instead of getting vaccinated, something she believed would help her travel with her band without the restrictions imposed by the state. The final ignominy for a woman whose own husband and son were fully vaccinated and from whom she most likely contracted the disease after they tested positive at Christmas. Hana was apparently brainwashed by anti-vaxers into believing she could catch and recover from the disease... and she could not be otherwise persuaded by her family. This is yet another case that strengthens Australia's stand against Novak Djokovic... not to give voice to anti-vaxers.

For a woman who claims to want to return America to strong Christian values Marjorie Taylor Greene certainly spends a lot of time running her mouth in the opposite direction. She apparently believes that free speech means you can say anything you want since "Thou Shalt Not Lie" is not an explicit commandment. You have to hand it to the people of Georgia who keep her in office for their allegiance and sense of patriotism. They must believe that if Rep. Greene makes herself look stupid then her constituents will look smart. Sadly it doesn't work that way. And if someone had asked Marjorie Taylor Green if she wanted a glass of water to wash down her foot, every time she said something stupid, she would have surely downed by now. Happy Kwanzaa and Congratulations, Butthead of the Year, 2021.

December, 2021

Mr. Sensitive, Vishal Garg

And another mighty ego-maniac slapped down by his own leadership failures... this time following a mass employee firing via a Zoom meeting. Some 900 employees of a modestly known online mortgage company called 'Better' were summoned to a Zoom call on December 1 and then abruptly told they had been fired 'effective immediately.' This was immediately followed by those employees having their company computer access cut off. A few days later, after the company announced that CEO Vishal Garg was taking a leave of absence, Garg is alleged to have apologized for the way he handled the mass firing acknowledging his insensitivity... you think? The day before the mass firing the company received some $750 million dollars from company backers Fortune and TechCrunch which one could attribute to yet another Garg leadership failure, and right on the cusp of Garg taking Better.com public. Enjoy your vacation.

November, 2021

The Lamb Called Home

The end of November sees the end of Marcus Lamb, Co-Founder and CEO of Daystar Television Network and pulpit pounder known for ranting anti-vaccine sentiment. Ironic that he should die from COVID-19? Not really. The self righteous succumb at the same rate as the humble. It makes you wonder how many of his faithful followers have died because of Daystar Ministry's relentless denial of the COVID-19 vaccination, government mandates and social responsibility for lock-down and quarantine. Marcus' son, Jonathan Lamb described his father's Covid infection as "a spiritual attack from the enemy" to "take down" Marcus Lamb. The enemy being science.   Is Jonathan a Republican Congresman?
Apparently Marcus and his family didn't pray hard enough or the mere $10 million net worth he amassed wasn't sufficient to buy his lungs a second chance with the alternative treatments he extolled. Based on his own teachings, God determined that Marcus was more valuable in Heaven than on earth.

October, 2021

TRUMP Will Save Steve Bannon

Long before the House voted to find Steve Bannon in contempt of congress for defying a subpoena to appear and be grilled by the House select committee on the events of January 6 did Stephen and his lawyers begin to kraft his defense. Their first thought was to adopt the Flip Wilson defense... "The Devil Made Me Do It" but they scrapped that notion because it lacked a secular tone. Next they tried to incorporate a Halloween theme, perhaps using the beloved character Charlie Brown, but they abandoned that fearing references to the Great Pumpkin would be disrespectful of Donald Trump. So in good political form, they chose the most logical path... blame the lawyers. Bannon could say that he didn't refuse to comply with the subpoena but rather he was advised not to by his legal team. Interesting! Sounds like the dynamic duo of disinformation, Bannon and Giuliani, are collaborating once more. Clearly there will never be a happy ending.

September, 2021

Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire

What a sad reflection on the people of Arizona, well at least the 4th Congressional District, to have to consistently justify the Trumpesque falderal that infiltrates every sentence uttered by Paul Gosar. This former dentist, who apparently has neurological problems associated with excessive nitrous oxide exposure, has spent the last 10 months screaming about the Arizona election fraud and perpetuating a host of false and misleading statements trying to undermine the election integrity confidence of Arizonians. 10 months never stopping to use common sense rather declaring that the expensive and divisive election audit will tell the truth. And it did.. and Rep. Paul Gosar was struck silent for the first time in his political career.

August, 2021

No Vaccine for Me

Another Trump supporter, conservative Tennessee radio talk show host Phil Valentine succumbed to COVID19. After more than a year supporting Trump pandemic ideologies and claiming the vaccine was not necessary, Valentine changed his tune in the 11th hour.. but too late to save himself. Considered by many to have been a very influential personality with his long running radio talk show, Valentine had every opportunity to follow the science and use his platform to encourage his listeners to get vaccinated and do all they can do to protect themselves and those they love. Instead he poo-pooed the vaccine until he found himself headed to intensive care. We all makes choices... they guide our lives and the lives of those we influence... sometimes to death.

July, 2021

Hungry Olympian Goes For Bite of Kiwi

Morocco's Youness Baalla is awarded the July spot for the worst Mike Tyson impression of the 2021 Olympics. According to his heavyweight opponent, New Zealand's David Nyika, Baalla tried to bite his ear but came up short getting but a mouthful of sweat and a LOT of media coverage. The ref said he didn't see the bite attempt and if you look at the video it seems pretty clear that Baalla was either going for an ear bite or... that he is indeed a vampire and misguided his jugular vein trajectory. As you would expect, and just like Tyson in 1997, Baalla was losing to Nyika at the time of the bite attempt and did lose the match. I wonder if Youness was expecting David Nyika to taste like Kiwi? We will probably never know.

May, 2021

Ego Run Amok

The story goes that a retired Sergeant from the Yolo County Sheriff's Department, Orrin Heatlie, became incensed when he saw a video of Governor Newsom instructing illegal immigrants not to open their doors to law enforcement unless the officers have a warrant. That started the ball rolling and 21 months later sufficient signatures have been gathered to force a very expensive recall election. What may have started as a noble sentiment has escalated into an ego frenzy now poised to cost California tax payers $200-$400 million to attempt to recall a governor that is up for reelection next year anyway? Thank you very much Orrin and friends... wish we could make you pay for that which you started.

April, 2021

Brendan Hunt Was Just Kidding

From Queens New York comes Brendan Hunt a convicted felon for threatening to murder members of congress. He is near the top of a long list of defendants that will use the Trump defense 'I didn't mean those things I said... I didn't think anyone would take me seriously... it was all just blather.' This is the son of a retired judge and a lonely man apparently deranged by the isolation of the pandemic and fueled by drug and alcohol use. His repugnant social media racist rants, white supremacy falderal and apparent drive to incite further violence following the siege of the Capital on January 6th all came back to short circuit his 15 minutes of fame. Is he an evil man... is he suffering from serious mental health issues or just another big mouth that was never properly potty trained? Do we blame his parents or the confusion caused by people in positions of power that value selfishness over civility. We hope he enjoys prison where taxpayers will likely pay him to bolster his own self-hatred and walk farther down the dark side.

March, 2021

Another Glue Victim?

OK this one is from Jacksonville, Florida. It's a sad story of a 34 year old woman, Edith Riddle (Tom Riddle's great-great grand-daughter). Edith was summoned to a meeting with her middle-school daughter's vice principal to discuss her daughter's predilection to aggressive behavior. So naturally Edith crazy glued her hand to a boxing glove and went to the meeting. After the meeting, instead of just going home, the daughter made a bee line for the cafeteria to confront her nemesis and Edith followed. The cops were called because of the fracas and found Edith pummeling the daughter's adversary, after the daughter got in a few licks of her own, and arrested Edith for child abuse. When asked by the police why she came to school wearing a boxing glove she told them she couldn't remove it because it was crazy glued to her hand. Lesson: Edith, if you can't stifle yourself, don't try to stifle someone else.

February, 2021

Victims - Self Inflicted

It's a tie for February- these two are both victims of their own choices and runners up for this year's dingbat of the year award.

Ted Cruz - (R) Senator from Texas
Self-proclaimed Trump sycophant and conspiracy theorist, Senator Cruz thought the best way to support Texans during the recent catastrophic winter weather was to take his family to Cancun, Mexico. Returning immediately after widespread criticism, Cruz blamed his daughters for the vacation and then blamed his wife for saying that it was his daughters' fault. Not to worry though, by next month Cruz will have formulated a new version of the truth with the help of Marjorie Taylor Greene. Based on his recent speech at the CPAC in Orlando, Cruz might do well to give up politics and go for stand-up comedy.
Gorilla Glue Girl - This Fashionista from Louisianan (whose name I won't use just in case she aspires to be a supreme court justice), ran out of hairspray and substituted Gorilla Glue spray adhesive instead. She claims the label did not specifically say DO NOT USE IN YOUR HAIR. Apparently not sufficiently embarrassed by the results of her lack of judgment, she felt the need to send her story out across the world via social media. Not too bad perhaps, she did get her hair removed by a plastic surgeon, free of charge as we are told, and got a shout out on SNL

January, 2021

Marjorie Taylor Greene

Congratulations to Marjorie Taylor Greene, now representing the people of Georgia's 14th congressional district. This Trump sycophant and QANON conspiracy theorist has only been in congress a few weeks and is already standing tall for her 15 minutes of fame. Seems she still believes that the election was stolen from Trump thanks to the fake news machine and corrupt voting systems and that the siege on the capital building in Washington was an expression of first amendment rights and consistent with her "America First" platform. Beyond that her conspiracy theories include denouncing the 911 attack on the Pentagon and claims that California wild fires were caused by Jewish Lasers from space. She says she will not back down or apologize for her words at the same time she is removing much of her pre-election platform rhetoric from social media... including support for executing members of the FBI and congress for their egregious treatment of Donald Trump. In her defense she says that she has teams of people posting in her name and that she can't be responsible for everything 'she' says. Under congressional pressure Greene admited she believed 'things' that were not true but only apologizes for allowing herself to be bamboozled by bullshit... and she still doesn't believe it was bullshit. Congratulations to the 14th district in Georgia... you voted for it - you got it.

2020 Butthead of the Year

Congratulations Donald J Trump

Here is a man, who from birth was surrounded by wealth and privilege. A man who maneuvered his way to the highest office in the land not to serve the people but to serve himself, his extraordinary ego and his super-wealthy friends. A man who had every opportunity to do great things for America and the world but chose to defy reason, science and democracy in pursuit of his autocratic ideals. Presidential claims to fame are few but include the big tax cut he signed into law which helped the average American a little and his rich friends a lot. He will be remembered for his failed leadership during the COVID-19 pandemic,  for costing the tax payers millions of dollars pursuing his conspiracy theories and supporting his lifelong inability to admit defeat and for never having told the truth twice in a row. In his final days in office, when he vetoed the FY2021 Defense Bill, he did stand up for something I believe strongly in: African-Americans will never stop talking about the oppression of slavery and we will never reduce that impact by erasing the memory of our Civil War heritage. Shall we take the Washington and Jefferson memorials down because they were slave owners? I don't think so. Pandering to an angry mob will do nothing to equal the racial playing field in America and that is one thing Donald Trump got right.
Oh and Donald Trump is... from Florida.

December, 2020

Sen. Mitch McConnell - Too Damn Old

From Kentucky comes  Sen. Mitch McConnell who has served in the US Senate for 35+ years... now as  Majority Leader and poster child for term limits. He makes the Butthead list for his two faced support of President Trump and his chronic partisan rebuke of all things 'Democrat' regardless of the will or the need of the people. Considering all the money the federal government spends on an endless barrage of special interests... the right, largely influenced by McConnell, thinks $600 is enough to get the millions of unemployed and struggling Americans through this poorly managed pandemic. Worried about the money? The defense bill for FY 2021, which he so protected and led the Senate in overturning Trump's veto, had millions and millions of dollars for all kinds of things that could have waited until the country was back on its fiscal feet (or never) like the millions of dollars to be spent on renaming military bases that, good or bad, reflect our country's heritage and should not be diminished in a blind attempt to mitigate racial disparity. Perhaps McConnell could foster legislation to slap hard the hands of today's oppressors instead of hiding the ones of the past.

November, 2020

Two Faced Rudy - Bullshit Sweats Brown

Rivaled only by Donald Trump as Chief BS Artist of America, Rudy Giuliani has surpassed even Press Secretary Kayleigh McEnany with his ability to look straight at the camera and tell bold face lies. And not the typical Trump hyperbole, which we have all come to know and love, but spit in your face bullshit. Purportedly getting $20,000 of Republican campaign money per day to lead Trump's assertive reverse the vote initiative, Giuliani stands before any camera and spouts the bilge-water of broad scale voting fraud and corruption. But when specifically addressed in court by a judge, Giuliani denies that there is any evidence to support it. You can see Giuliani's devotion to Trump in the 'copy-cat' orange makeup he uses and sweats out with every lie.

October, 2020

Buff Daddy Dies From COVID-19

First thing we learn from the sad ending to fitness influencer, Dmitriy Stuzhuk from the Ukraine, is that being buff and ripped, however beautiful, does not make one healthy or resistant to disease. Another arrogant man who knew better than all the experts, went out of his way to tell his 'influenced' that COVID-19 was a hoax. And it wasn't until Stuzhuk was in his COVID-19 hospital bed that he decided to admit that he might be wrong. Makes you wonder how many of his 'influenced' took his lead and fell victim to COVID-19 themselves. The weak and gullible parade the halls of social media platforms and latch on to those who catch their fancy, for whatever reason, and feel compelled to follow. If someone told you to jump off a cliff... would you?

September, 2020

Press Secretary Kayleigh McEnany

How is it that an attractive woman, a Harvard graduate, a semi-experienced journalist, one who has married a handsome baseball player (Florida... no surprise), can stand before the American people, day after day and repeat and embrace the dribble on Trump's lips. Trump's press secretary must be a very difficult job. Key Responsibility: Turn bullshit into something that sounds at least credible. Kayleigh has become a master of this job and yet we never see her wretch or vomit. One of her best moments recently, when confronted with Trump's leadership of the pandemic, and in response to the Trump tapes released by Bob Woodward... was to say, "The President has never lied to the American public on Covid." And she kisses her husband with those lips?

August, 2020

Evangelical Millionaire - God Isn't Smiling

Poor Jerry Falwell Jr. All his millions and connections to Donald Trump couldn't excuse his fall from the center seat at Liberty University. One of the most influential leaders of the evangelical movement in America is using the classic Trumpism ...'fake news'... in reference to his alleged participation in a love triangle between his wife Beckie and their hunky pool boy Giancarlo Granda. While he admits he knew about his wife's 6-7 year affair with Granda, Falwell denies that he watched them fornicate and that Granda's assertion is just a ploy to extort money. Seen in a photo he himself posted and then abruptly redacted just days before, Falwell is in the company of a young lady with their pants undone. Falwell dismissed the controversy using another Trumpism... "it was just good natured fun." No doubt there is a separate gate to heaven for the holier-than-thou and Jerry Falwell Jr will be in good company.

July, 2020

Secretary of  Education  Betsy DeVos 

Billionaire sycophant Betsy DeVos has her lips so fully attached to Trump's behind that she hasn't had an original thought in her head since she first sat down at the cabinet table. Usually focused on how to foster the wealth of her friends by moving to a national private school model, DeVos has taken to the stage to echo Trump's demand that public schools open as usual in the Fall under pain of defunding. Without a clear plan to ensure the safety of students and staff the Trump administration, while simultaneously criticizing the CDC's recommendations, stands firm that schools should re-open in the fall. The best DeVos could muster was, “Schools should do what’s right on the ground at that time for their students and for their situation.” Truly a politician schooled by Donald Trump.     

June, 2020

Ivanka "Fashionista" Trump

Ivanka Trump carried the bible President Donald Trump brandished in his controversial photo-op in her white Max Mara designer purse as she joined administration officials in the walk from the White House to St. John's Church. Ivanka, besides being at the top of the fashion chic,  is  well known for her devotion to the Christian faith and quoted this bible passage in a tweet aimed at calming the pandemic masses...“This is what the Lord said: I have heard your prayer and seen your tears. I will heal you.” 2 Kings 20:5.
Had she read the context of that bible quote she would have known that it was an excerpt from a story about deliverance from a mad king. We expect that her pandering prose is prophetic and will be revealed to all come November. Not surprisingly the response to her tweet was significantly ratioed. Google that word if you aren't  styling.  I had to.....

May, 2020

Eight Minutes of Hate

It only takes a moment, when you are filled with hate and disregard for human life, to make a change so profound that it sets the nation on fire. For whatever reasons, those were the actions of Minneapolis veteran police officer Derek Chavin. And in his moment of disregard, with fellow Minneapolis police offices at his side, Chavin took the life of George Floyd without batting an eye. Violent protests followed, not only in Minneapolis but other urban areas across the country. And amid the savage violence is drawn let another line dividing the races... radicals from the left and the right whose mission appears to be to incite violence and foster division to the point of war. It seems never ending, the leadership postures, pontificates and takes little action. The cycle continues.

April, 2020

Another Trump Leader Resigns

It is the height of arrogance, although not surprising for a Trump appointee, to fire a Navy captain for "serious lack of judgment" and then turn around and commit a serious lack of judgment in very bold relief. Modly's shipboard profanity-laced speech slamming the captain of the USS Theodore Roosevelt, whom he had just fired, inflamed more than the ship's complement. His apology, characterizing his remarks as "rough", was clearly not enough as Democrats immediately called quite loudly for his resignation. It does seem that the wrong navy man was fired over this and likely Mark Esper, Trump's Secretary of De'Fence, demanded Modly's resignation to save his own butt.

January, 2020

Shoot the Bad Guy and Some Other Guys

Mike Pompeo, larger than life Secretary of State, by all accounts strong-armed Trump into the drone strike that took out Qasem Soleimani and 9 others on January 3. Try to Google who the 9 other were, its not easy as they are thought to be inconsequential. I wonder how many wives and children will never see their inconsequentials again. Seems rather naive to think that there aren't other Iranian generals lined up to take Soleimani's place as 'head terrorist.' Besides the expenditure of millions of dollars for the drone attack - what did it really accomplish other than putting Iran on such a high state of alert that they 'inadvertently' shot down a commercial jet and killed 176 innocents. Acts of aggression are never inconsequential.

March, 2020

Duncan Hunter - Congressional Thief

After six terms in office, California's 50th district republican congressman Duncan Hunter is sentenced to 11 months in prison for his greed and arrogance, for taking for his own that which did not belong to him and repeatedly lying about it. He tried to throw his wife under the bus blaming her for the misappropriation of campaign funds and when that didn't work he pulled a Trump and blamed the democrats for 'conspiring' against him with fake news. But thanks to a world where news is instantaneous and an angry, vindictive wife, Duncan Hunter was forced to admit his guilt. Prison won't be too bad for him, he has a pretty mouth. Whitehouse Pardon? That is doubtful even with Trump in the center seat.

March, 2019

Crazy Birth Control in Orlando

What are they smoking in Orlando and what would cause a mother to stab her own 11 year old daughter to death because she thought she was having sex with men? Apparently, the daughter ran into mom's knife 15 times. Understanding that Rosa Rivera is originally from Texas where they can be very strict about such things, this Orlando transplant confessed what she did and said that her daughter is now safe because she is in heaven. What ever happened to a good old fashioned 'ass whooping'? Sending your children to heaven as a form of birth control seems rather severe, even in Florida.

December, 2019

Impeach Trump Damn It

Over the last many, many months both Republican and Democrat congressmen have stood before the media cameras and microphones lauding their sense of civic responsibility and oaths of office to protect and defend the Constitution and American Democracy. Nancy Pelosi continuously defended her move to impeach President Trump based on that sacred trust. But when it came time to vote on the articles of impeachment all the Democrats said ‘eye’ and all the Republicans said ‘nay’. So, was Donald Trump wrong when he said this impeachment proceeding was a political witch hunt? Apparently not. Interesting how the interpretation of the Constitution and Federal law is so political party diverse. Nobody wins in these things except a flotilla of lawyers being paid by your tax dollars.

July, 2018

Second only to Trump in Bullshit Skills

Notable Quote: "Truth Isn't Truth"

When Dumbledore saw Harry Potter standing before the Mirror of Erised he counseled Harry with, " This mirror gives us neither knowledge or truth..." So it seems reasonable that Rudy Giuliani spends a lot of time in front of his own mirror of Erised (desire spelled backwards) because he provides us neither knowledge or truth. But then in politics, or whatever game Giuliani is playing, there apparently is no truth. But when you think about it - it's when our government stops lying to us that should give us pause to be afraid, be very afraid.

August 19, 2018

People Who Live in Glass Houses?

Asia Argento, Italian actress and staunch activist for the "Me Too" movement, one of the first to publicly accuse Harvey Weinstein of rape now goes on the defensive. It has been revealed that just weeks after her claims against Weinstein she paid Jimmy Bennett - a boy she is alleged to have raped when he was 17 - $380 large to secure his silence. Now 22, Bennett brought his claim forward after Argento accused Weinstein... in an apparent attempt to brand her a hypocrite and get dollars. And just like Weinstein, Argento denies the allegations using the Trumpesque ''fake news" defense. Argento claims that it was then boyfriend Anthony Bourdain who decided to pay off Jimmy Bennett... and then weeks later take his own life. Me Too needs some new faces. Perhaps June Cleaver telling Ward 'don't be too hard on the beaver' would be a softer sell.

May 10, 2018

A Glass of Water to Wash Down Her Foot

Claiming now that her disrespectful remarks about Sen. John McCain were meant to be a joke, Kelly Sadler is learning that no one is laughing, Trump not-withstanding. In a White House meeting,  Special Assistant to the President Kelly Sadler's remarks were in reference McCain’s opposition to CIA nominee Gina Haspel claiming it doesn’t matter because he is “dying anyway.” Her self imposed glass of water was to telephone McCains daughter Meghan McCain and apologize. I guess being on this president's staff you learn to emulate Donald Trump's chronic disrespect for others... only in this case Trump would have never apologized.

June 21, 2018

What Were Your Really Thinking?

Apparently blessed with the same warped sense of humor as her husband, First Lady Melania Trump demonstrated her insensitivity by wearing a jacket with the words 'I really don't care, do U?' blazoned across the back on her way to and from touring two facilities housing immigrant children who were separated from their parents by the US government. Amidst great national debate around a most insensitive 'policy' and following President Trump's meager attempt with yet another executive order, Melania thought it was appropriate to be seen in this 'high fashion' Zara jacket. While she didn't wear it at the detention facilities her lack of compassion for the immigrant situation seems apparent. I'm sure she will apologize and claim it had a totally different meaning at some point... rich, arrogant, Trumpesque.
Thank You Red States.

October 9, 2017

Abortion for Convenience - Harassment for Control - Moralist Resigns in Disgrace

Rep. Tim Murphy, a staunch anti-abortion advocate, thought he could withstand the media furor that engulfed him after reports that he’d encouraged his extramarital lover to end her 'pregnancy'. And that was apparently the tip of the iceberg as Murphy also resigned amid growing accusations that the House Ethics Committee might have to investigate allegations  that he and his Chief of Staff Susan Mosychuk abused and harassed their Congressional office staff resulting in record staff turnovers. Murphy's wife Nan must be anything but proud and quite used to hanging her head in shame. Thank You Red States.

April 2018

Move Over Judge Judy - There's A New Queen Bitch of the Bench - Judge Merrilee Erlich ...It happened in Broward County Florida - Apparently this soon to retire Judge forgot to take her sensitivity pills and instead berated a chronically ill woman in court so intensely that the county defender, compelled by this vicious lack of compassion, did petition the court to force Judge Merrilee Ehrlich to early retirement. Well she may retire as planned but she will not return to the bench. When you see the video you can see the waves of superiority that washed across Merrilee - it was as if she auditioning for a shot at her own daytime courtroom show. Or perhaps teamed up with Judge Judy, a feature film called 'Mean Jurists.'
Thank You Red States.

October, 2017

The Casting Couch Lives On
Seriously, people are 'shocked and dismayed' to find out that movie moguls still use the strong arm approach to get sex without pay? Harvey Weinstein got caught but you can bet the story doesn't end there. Less fearful for retaliation the stars will come out in groves to reveal their sad Weinstein stories, ladies to be sure and at least a few men. To be fair, the rich and powerful have to work really hard to get what they want especially if they don't' want to pay for it or get caught doing it. Truer words were never spoken by Bill Cosby or the myriad producers and casting directors that preceded Weinstein and those who will follow. Pretty girls who want to get into pictures badly enough will pucker up. Weinstein 3:16.

September 25, 2017

Weiner Sentenced to 21 Months in Jail for Showing his 'sick' Junk to Children.

Former Congressman Anthony Weiner (D-NY) plead guilty to sexting with a minor and has been sentenced to 21 months in federal prison. With tear stained cheeks he accepted responsibility for this 'sickness' induced behavior, acknowledged that he must register as a sex offender and only asked that he be incarcerated at the Westchester Country Club to be closer to his 5 year old son. Once the darling of the young Democrats who stood on the precipice of the Clinton dynasty, Weiner just couldn't keep his wiener in his pants. Prison may spell reform.

June 15, 2017

Robert Doggart Sentenced to 20 Years over Plot to Massacre Muslims

In Tennessee, Christian minister Robert Doggart has been sentenced to 20 years in prison over his plot to massacre Muslims at a New York mosque. Doggart was also a 2014 congressional candidate. In 2015, FBI agents discovered Doggart was stockpiling weapons and plotting to travel to upstate New York to kill Muslims using explosives, an M-4 assault rifle and a machete. According to a federal investigation, Doggart saw himself as a religious “warrior” and wanted to kill Muslims to show his commitment to his Christian god. Zealot 'Yes' - Monster - 'No' according to sentencing Judge Curtis Collier. 

July, 2017

Write a Check
Win Ambassadorship

San Diego's own Doug Manchester, a staunch Trump supporter and multi-millionaire contributor to the Trump campaign has been nominated to be the Ambassador Extraordinary and Plenipotentiary of the United States of America to the Commonwealth of the Bahamas. Papa Doug, as his friends call him, is a right wing homophobe who ironically walks, talks and dresses like the stereotypical gay senior. In appreciation for the fat check Manchester provided to the Trump campaign, the tax payers will now pay him to languish in the harsh Caribbean environment doing what all ambassadors do, party with the elite and spend our hard earned tax dollars accomplishing little or nothing.
Thank You Red States.

March 31, 2017

Michael Flynn - General Disgrace

Give me immunity of give me death is the tone General Flynn is giving congress as he negotiates his testimony regarding Trump's campaign and the Russians... a tone that Donald Trump is allegedly supporting. There are two reasonable explanations for all this - either Flynn is hyping the importance of his testimony by demanding immunity first and once he has immunity he is free to lie is ass off - or more likely he wants the immunity now because the ongoing investigation is soon to find out the real truth which of course no one knows but that will undoubtedly incriminate Flynn and his cohorts. Power corrupts absolutely.

April 10, 2017

Alabama Gov. Robert Bentley

Diverting Alabama state and campaign funds to hide an affair with a staffer is the latest moniker for this despot of power corruption, soon to be ex Governor Robert Bentley. Among the charges, this Red State leader is alleged to have used state law enforcement officers to intimidate staffers and suppress news of his affair with former political adviser Rebekah Caldwell Mason. Can't blame the Democrats for this one although his team will probably try. Was he the victim of his aging gonads or just another Bill Clinton that couldn't own up to the truth of his relationship. Resigning is a good first step. He will need all the time he can muster to keep from going to jail if the AG has his way.
Thank You Red States.

January 9, 2017

Kellyanne Conway

'I Got Your Backside' seems to be the Conway credo these days. Kellyanne will defend Donald Trump tooth and nail to secure that White House advisory position she's been promised. Her ability to sense our reality seems to be as compromised as is Trump's. According to Conway - "The most vilified people right now are in Hollywood" - apparently because the Hollywood elite don't give equal time to blacks and all minorities - and 'don't judge Trump by what the world saw in the video, he has explained it 1000 times - he was not mocking Serge - he was just showing the world how Serge looks on camera'. I guess then we could say the same about Alec Baldwin on SNL ... Trump is a lucky man to find anyone as dedicated as Conway to always be there to pull his foot out of his mouth or at least explain why people think it's there.

February 14, 2017

Two time loser, retired general Michael Flynn quits his 23 day old job as National Security Adviser at the request of President Trump. Apparently he learned nothing about trust from his stint with the Obama administration. How arrogant to have a position of trust and power and to break the rules, lie about it and expect to get away with it. But compassion suggests that Flynn may not have known the rules or how to tell the truth correctly. Within the Trump administration, truth is apparently in the eye of the beholder and as long as you don't get caught it remains true. Kellyanne Conway knows that only too well but her protection from the truth comes in the form of 'alternate facts', something she didn't pass on to Flynn very well. He chose to go with 'I gave incomplete information' rather than saying he lied. How Washingtonian.

November 8, 2016

All the Red States - Victory in the Electoral College - But What for America?

Many in this country who hold our election process dear will be re-evaluating the principles of the 'electoral college' and again explaining to the masses how getting the highest number of votes doesn't necessarily equal a winner. This election marks the second time in recent years that a president elect did not win the popular vote. Remember George W Bush in 2000? The man who cost us more than $2 trillion in the middle east because he wanted to find the Iraqi weapons of mass destruction. Lets thank the Red States again for another electoral college win and for Donald J Trump.

November 14, 2016

Justin Ross Harris - Murder by Accidental Neglect or Design.

Seriously... you strap your toddler in his car seat in your car and let him die because you forget he was there? Of notoriety, this man's trial required a change of venue because of rampant local publicity and in Atlanta, Georgia he was soundly convicted of all counts. The evidence presented was quite compelling and told the story of a young man, more than a bit of a pervert, who apparently left his 22 month old son in his car while he went to work his regular shift. The prosecution pressed that this was a willful act by Harris who was in financial and emotional turmoil. The boy died of excessive heat a cause of death that was not disputed. Surveillance video showed Harris returning to his car during the day and still did not notice his son strapped into his car seat. Even after he left work he says he didn't notice his son in the car until he was on the road and looked in his rear view mirror. Horrible, indeed. Negligent, indeed. Deserving of punishment, indeed. Intentional... only Justin knows for sure.

November 9, 2016

Hillary Clinton - Misguided and Cock Sure

In contests, someone wins and someone loses. Hillary let us all believe that she was going to win the race and provide America with a better alternative to Trump and Company. She was so cock sure at the last debate that she did little more than sit back and wait for Trump to implode. The polls and pundits were deceived - Hillary was deceived and with little post election doubt, it was white working class middle America whose voice was heard the loudest. Hell hath no fury as a 'female' presidential candidate scorned. After a bit of cooling off - there will be hell to pay for some of Hillary's closest and we will have to endure countless hours of pundit rhetoric explaining how they got it all wrong. Cameras are all on Donald J Trump - Hillary may now lick her wounds in private.

November 8, 2016

Donald Trump - A Most Spectacular Bull Shit Artist

Having spent half of the campaign trail trying to get his foot out of his mouth and the other half trying to make dragging a woman by her 'pussy' sound noble, Trump prevailed. I'm not sure what that says about America but it certainly is a scary notion. Jaws were on the floor for quite a long time Tuesday night and a major period of adjustment is at hand. In his victory speech Trump was gallant, soft spoken and quite uncharacteristically presidential. So too was his demeanor in his first meeting with Obama in the White House, at least all that we could see. Which one of his many faces will he show us next? It's anyone's guess. It is heartening to know that there are so many watchdog groups that will monitor his every move that we can comfortably sit back and enjoy the show.